Monday, June 27, 2005

Little did you know that "Batman Returns" was a threat.

Being the wild and crazy people that we are, Joe and I decided to go see Batman Returns on a Monday night. I know, I know how could we possibly be more exciting?!?! Well...we saw it in IMAX. Yes, Christian Bale was two-stories tall! This, however, was the highlight of the movie.
Joe tells me I'm being too critical, it's a summer blockbuster not an art movie, but it sucked. Yes, lots of car chases and things exploding....pretty much everything in the movie explodes...but I actually like Batman and would have preferred if the movie had stayed dark instead of reverting to really awful jokes. The guy who thought up the, "Can you drive stick?" line for when Batman gives Gordon the keys to the Batmobile, should have his writer's union membership revoked.
I'm yet to decide who I like better as Batman, Christian Bale or Val Kilmer. Christian Bale definately takes the cake for the "worst Batman voice." He puts on the suit and suddenly his voice sounds like somebody who just experienced swallowing something down the wrong pipe. He sounds like he needs medical attention, not at all dark or even mildly menacing.
I recommend renting the movie when it comes out on DVD, that way you can turn the sound off, skip the really difficult to follow chase scenes and enjoy the best part of the movie...Christian Bale, half naked.


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